Welcome to the Vaginal and Vulvar Mayhem World Games

Today’s entry, VCF Vaginal Odor Eliminating Film, breath strips for the vagina.

Now that the Olympics are over, I’d like to introduce you to a new competition, The Vaginal and Vulvar Mayhem Word Games. This is my response to my increasing exasperation with the ever growing market of useless and often harmful vaginal and vulvar products that want you to believe the vagina is constantly in a near apocalyptic state.

Sigh.

So many false claims and so much predatory messaging. 

Some people wonder why I don’t reach out to the companies? I am here for the consumer, not the company. I assume that any company that has gone to the trouble of producing a product has actually investigated whether their product is good and useful and that they are mindful of predatory language. It’s their job to hire an appropriate consultant and get it right before they go to market, and by appropriate expert advice, I don’t mean shopping until they find some doctor who tells them what they want to hear. I am not here to do that work for these companies at any price. If they have done that work, they won’t be negatively featured here. If they have a good product, I’ll recommend it. 

What everyone should know is that the information needed to do a cursory check on most of these products is available to anyone who wants to devote an hour or so to some basic research. The question isn’t why have I failed to contact a company whose product gets a negative review, the question is why hasn’t the company spent a few hours researching their own product? Or if they have, why have they ignored that information? For example, if a product claims they can balance the vaginal pH, you the consumer should wonder why they would make such a demonstrably false claim? If the manufacturer or the expert or both truly believes the product can balance the vaginal pH, that’s a serious issue. What other very basic things do they not understand? Or if they do indeed have “vaginal pH balancing” data, why haven’t they published that revolutionary work so experts like me can recommend their product?

Here’s another example. If a product’s marketing or instructions confuses the terms vulva and vagina (and this happens very frequently), that can lead to people being harmed as products designed for external use can sometimes be damaging if used internally. Is it up to me to inform a company making a wash meant to be used externally that the vulva is on the outside and the vagina on the inside of the body?

Or perhaps there a more malignant intent to conflating the vulva and vagina? One does wonder. Douches, which are meant to be used internally in the vagina are very harmful and need warning labels, but vulvar products which are meant to be used externally don’t. If you want to capture the market of people who want to douche or clean vaginally, using the word vagina for the vulva is a useful strategy. Even cleaning the vagina with water can disturb the vaginal ecosystem, so inserting wipes that are meant for the vulva or vulvar washes into the vagina can cause a lot of issues. But if the product is sold as a vaginal wash or a “vaginal area” (WTF?) wash, why wouldn’t someone use it internally? And of course, it reinforces the misogynistic trope that the vagina needs cleaning. Yes, I see you, Vagisil. Read about the harms of using products of the vulva internally in the vagina here.

The feminine hygiene industry has huge issues. Not only do companies promote untested and even potentially harmful products and make false claims, they use predatory messaging. If you walk through most grocery stores you are greeted with shelf after shelf of literally useless products designed to shame the consumer into trying them. If a company enters that market, whether they are a massive conglomerate or a company with 38 employees, their responsibility is the same. Don’t sell useless and/or harmful products and do not use predatory messaging. 

As an aside, many young women tell me their male partners have shamed them into using so-called “cleansing” products. Whether you have a vagina or not, what do rows of products designed to clean the vulva and vagina say about the supposedly cleanliness of that area? If there are shelves of products to treat non existent feminine odor, it makes it seem like it’s an actual issue. If there are 20 products to treat “period funk,” you couldn’t be faulted for thinking “period funk” is a real thing. For the record, if you think you have a vaginal odor there are only two options here. Either you have a medical condition or your vagina is fine. Meaning, if you do think you have an odor see a medical provider.

I’m not here to trash companies, but if your product is problematic, I’m going to call you out. And of course it’s complicated because companies can make both good and bad products. For example, Vagisil, their anti itch medication (the original formulation) and washes are garbage. However, they make a vaginal moisturizer (yes, vaginal) that is fine for menopause.  

Now, back to the World Games...

The scoring categories for these games are as follows, although note as this is a new competition and the scoring system may evolve. The score is based out of 10, where 0 is ideal and 10 is super crap. So like golf, a high score is bad. Scores of more than 10 are possible. Over time, I hope you the reader will learn this system so you can apply it for yourself when you see these products in the wild. 

Scientific Category: 70% of score. 

Each skill is graded out of 1.0, but extra points can be awarded for being egregious. 

• Claims of balancing vaginal pH or the more nebulous “vaginal balance,” the latter of which is a made up term. Bonus points are available for vulvar products that claim to balance vaginal pH as this represents an extra degree of impossibility and ignorance. 

• Unclear directions regarding vulvar or vaginal use. The vulva is on the outside, but very often they don’t seem to know this.

• Presence of fragrance, bonus points for claims of being fragrance free, but actually containing fragrance in the form of botanical or essential oils.

• Presence of untested products

• Presence of known irritants or harmful ingredients, such as astringents. Harmful ingredients that are sometimes used medically will earn a point in this category if the product is being recommended inappropriately. For example, boric acid to balance vaginal pH. 

• Claims of being gynecologist approved, tested or scientifically tested with no supporting quality studies 

• Use of health halo or God terms, meaning words or phrases that we are inclined to view positively with no supporting data. Our brains fill in the positive here. The God terms included in this category are clean, natural, pure, and ancient. 

Artistic Interpretation Category: 30% of score 

This is based more on the general misogyny, bullshittery, abuse of science, and predatory marketing tactics that suggest vaginas and/or vulva need special cleaning. Some examples include marketing aimed at teens, use of the terms “feminine freshness” or “period funk”, or implications about confidence. Price is also a consideration. The judge, that would be me, has a lot of leeway here. 

Regulatory Review: Letters from the FDA regarding violations in safety, quality, advertising etc. will be mentioned and earn an asterisk. A formal scoring system here has yet to be determined, but suffice it to say that getting a warning from the FDA is usually not a good sign. 

Today’s Entry: VCF Vaginal Odor Eliminating Film.

No, really. That is what it is called. When I was initially sent the picture I actually thought it was something for dishwasher odor, because VCF made me think of PVC and piping. 

VCF Odor Eliminating Vaginal Film is dissolvable strips that are inserted vaginally to “eliminate vaginal odor and relieve feminine discomfort by maintaining a healthy vaginal pH.” Think of them like those breath strips you put on your tongue… but for your vagina.

Scientific Category Score: 4.5 out of 7 points (remember, higher scores are worse)

Artistic Category Score: 5 out of 3 points (I told you I have a lot of discretion in the scoring!)

The packaging is very 1960s, but the use of feminine freshness tropes is ageless. One particularly problematic line is the following:

VCF Odor Eliminating Film can restore freshness, as well as your confidence during intimacy.

Equally concerning is the claim on the back of the package that the acidic pH of the vagina, which is normal, can “sometimes lead to an unpleasant feminine odor.” So basically, the normal vaginal can stink? One, fuck off. Two, untrue. Medical conditions associated with vaginal odor have an elevated or more basic vaginal pH. Three, if an acidic pH did cause odor, why does VCF want to treat that with lactic acid, something with an acidic pH? Four, how does working out affect your vagina? The vagina doesn’t sweat. Also, the claim that dehydration causes vaginal odor? Um, no. So many questions that hurt my brain. Makes the judge angry.

Ultimately, VCF Odor Eliminating Vaginal Film earned a 5.0 in the artistic category, because of the claim that a normal vaginal pH can cause “an unpleasant feminine odor,” the confidence claim, and the idea that working out and dehydration affect the vagina. Also, it seems that the mechanism of action here is to make the vagina smell like vanilla bean. For those with true vaginal health conditions, this could delay access to care because the vanilla smell may be mistaken for the product actually helping. For those without vaginal conditions, it reinforces the trope that there is something wrong with a normal vagina. There is not. And of course we have no data on how this product affects the vaginal ecosystem. 

The price point for the product submitted is $1.58 per insert. That is like throwing $1.58 away with each insertion.

Regulatory Review: The company Apothecus Pharmaceutical Corp. received a warning letter from the FDA about multiple violations related to manufacturing of a contraceptive foam, albeit a different product. You can read it here. They sued their contractor who made the product for them, who they stated was at fault. This doesn’t pertain to the vaginal film so I didn’t give it an asterisk, but felt worth mentioning.   

VCF Odor Eliminating Vaginal Film scores an impressive final score of 9.5 out of 10.

Verdict: VCF Odor Eliminating Vaginal Film achieves an easy entry into the top scorers for the Vulvar and Vaginal Mayhem World Games. 

Recommendation: When you see it on the shelf, walk right on by. It’s a vanilla scented breath strip for the vagina.