So today the 'solution' to the 'problem' is hormones. I remember 40-50 yrs ago it was Valium (it was actually advertised for helping women cope w/ the 'jail' [pictured] as household work)...
As a mental health professional I am shocked to hear that a female therapist is suggesting these types of marital issues are due to menopausal symptoms! Just wow!! Patriarchal brainwashing in action.
I second the commenter who wants "fuck that, Im not the giving tree" on a shirt. I'd wear that with pride (and Im also glad I'm not the only one horrified by that book - giving is important. But it should be balanced).
Something kept in my head the entire time in this article. A young woman who expresses anger is accused of having PMS. An older woman who expresses anger is accused of being menopausal.
The common denominator being that any time a woman expresses annoyance or anger, it of course couldnt be valid. Its hormones
Wife of Grayson Perry and author of 'The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)', that was so universally lionised on its release that I felt horrible that I was unable to even get halfway through it. It really should have been titled 'Why my kid is better than yours'. She's a very likeable presence on the tv, she and her husband did a very influential art show during lockdown, but yes, her advice always does seem to leave a sour taste in the mouth. That said, the comments on the piece are pure gold, so rest assured that not everyone thinks as Philippa Perry. You wonder whether the copy editors punch it up to make her seem extra-patronising in order to produce this sort of reaction - the Guardian can be very troll-y at times. But thank you Jen for having no time for such nonsense. Speaking as a 47 year old woman who does far less than her fair share of the housework this sounds utterly untenable.
Re: the request for advice sent to The Guardian, a “shared approach” to parenting / household chores is Scandinavian? I need to look that up. I can’t let that go unquestioned. (Maybe it’s menopause. 😆)
“Fuck that. I’m not the Giving Tree.” Now that belongs on a t-shirt!
"[I]t’s peak patriarchy to gaslight the normal, human response of appropriate anger as hormonal." I think this is my favorite quote.
My favorite piece of writing by Jen so far. Brilliant.
So today the 'solution' to the 'problem' is hormones. I remember 40-50 yrs ago it was Valium (it was actually advertised for helping women cope w/ the 'jail' [pictured] as household work)...
As a mental health professional I am shocked to hear that a female therapist is suggesting these types of marital issues are due to menopausal symptoms! Just wow!! Patriarchal brainwashing in action.
1.) I'm an advice column junkie and Guardian reader and I cannot tolerate Ask Phillipa.
2.) Thank you for making that point about malignant 2 parent households. This.
C.) I love that Jen used to listen to comedy albums and remembers the album and the joke. I feel so seen.
Awesome! This is another great manifesto.
I second the commenter who wants "fuck that, Im not the giving tree" on a shirt. I'd wear that with pride (and Im also glad I'm not the only one horrified by that book - giving is important. But it should be balanced).
Something kept in my head the entire time in this article. A young woman who expresses anger is accused of having PMS. An older woman who expresses anger is accused of being menopausal.
The common denominator being that any time a woman expresses annoyance or anger, it of course couldnt be valid. Its hormones
Wife of Grayson Perry and author of 'The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)', that was so universally lionised on its release that I felt horrible that I was unable to even get halfway through it. It really should have been titled 'Why my kid is better than yours'. She's a very likeable presence on the tv, she and her husband did a very influential art show during lockdown, but yes, her advice always does seem to leave a sour taste in the mouth. That said, the comments on the piece are pure gold, so rest assured that not everyone thinks as Philippa Perry. You wonder whether the copy editors punch it up to make her seem extra-patronising in order to produce this sort of reaction - the Guardian can be very troll-y at times. But thank you Jen for having no time for such nonsense. Speaking as a 47 year old woman who does far less than her fair share of the housework this sounds utterly untenable.
I’m gobsmacked that Philippa is a real person. I guess the misogyny is coming from inside the house.
„Sometimes it’s normal to be enraged“
Yes yes yes.
Thank you for this blog post!
A-fucking-men!
SPEAK THE TRUTH! Thank you.
Thank you for writing this! And congrats on your divorce by the way. :)
Amen! and Amen! again!
Re: the request for advice sent to The Guardian, a “shared approach” to parenting / household chores is Scandinavian? I need to look that up. I can’t let that go unquestioned. (Maybe it’s menopause. 😆)